Year in review

A year ago, my family was, and I struggle with the word to use here, ousted from a increasingly difficult situation. Until something equally as powerful happens around this time of year, I'm always going to associate Thanksgiving with being fired from a job I was very passionate about.
I wish I could write about how much stronger we are because of it...that we're better people now than a year ago. That event really messed us up. It messed with our confidence, our ability to trust Christ and people, and how we think about our purpose in life. Don't get me wrong. I love Jesus. I love who He is and who HE is making me. It's just hard to notice the garden when there's so much manure trying to help it grow. Yeah....that makes sense to me.

Why I'm thankful-

I grew up in a ministry home. I had ministry aunts and uncles. I had ministry grandparents. So when all this went down, every single person in my family knew exactly what we were going through. They didn't blame me (with one exception). They didn't automatically assume that my actions had led to this life-shattering event. Because we're all in ministry, that thanksgiving I was able to share the story at the table. Between this time last year and Christmas, I heard stories. My dad was wrongfully fired after discovering the pastor was stealing money from the church. My grandfather was told to find another job while on staff at a church in Florida. My uncle, my uncle, my dad, my dad's friend, my grandfather...they all had the church really mess them up.

Why I'll still do ministry-

Jesus told Peter that He was going to build His church on the rock of who He is and promises that the gates of hell won't triumph against it. Despite the regret, hurt, and shame I feel from time to time over what happened up there, I still know that life found in a relationship with Christ is the absolute best thing. I use the pronoun "thing" because it encompasses so much. Replace Christ with any 'thing' and it will leave you disappointed, disillusioned, and unsatisfied...or dissatisfied. (3 dises)
Because of this faith I have in Christ, I will fulfill the purpose He has for me. No matter what people in the church do, the church will continue to be God's hands and feet in this world.

I hate what happened to us a year ago. I hate how it went down. I wish I could stop thinking about it...shut it all off. Until then, I will love Jesus and lead people to that love He has for them. Yeah...that's a good thing.

I'll end this with a joke.
Knock knock,
Who's there?
Nobody
Nobody who?











that's all.

by the way...the new Killers album? awesome.

Another reason I need to take up hunting

Today, I had 3 hours to kill, not enough time to go home, and 10 dollars burning a hole in my pocket. So I did what most men did today...I went and saw tweener smash, "twilight"....alone. I know, I know...a little creepy. As a father to a daughter, I am fully aware of how creepy it is for a man to go to a movie alone in the middle of the day. Especially a movie that centers (basically) around a high school romance. Creepy, I know. How did I get here?

After reading the Harry Potter series 3 times over, the Narnia books a few times, and getting half-way through a stephen King novel, I tackled the mind of a 17 year old girl. That's where the Twilight books begin. In the mind of Bella Swan. Strangely enough, this is not the first time I've read a "girls" book...or "chick lit" (I love quotation marks)
When I was in 4th grade, I read a book called "Glass Slippers Give you blisters". In it, a girl feels like an outcast, but finds the good in every situation. I didn't realize this was chick lit until I stood up to give my book report in class. When I read the title, John Aldrege said "That's a girl's book". I was embarrassed, I must admit. But I digress.

I was looking forward to the "Half Blood Prince" that was supposed to come out today. I was not as excited for this movie, but given that I'd read the books, I was still pretty sure I would have to see it on opening day. I would have liked to not seem creepy in the process, though. But whatever.

It was a good movie. They stayed really true to the story as much as they could. I would have liked to have seen more of Edward's backstory. But Robert Pattinson did a good job. The whole cast played it a little cheesy. BUt overall, it was a good representation of Stephanie Meyer's work. I really hope the finish out the series. I want to see more of Jacob and the wolf thing. I hope they get a different director for it, though. Someone more suited to the genre.
A cameo by Wesley Snipes as a vampire hunter would be sweet, too. But I don't think that will happen.


The strangest thing about the experience was the amount of single ticket holding men there. IN a half-full theater, there were probably 4 guys there by themselves. And a lot of older women. I have two theories about the guys. 1) They're creepy guys scoping out the lonely ladies or 2) Twilight is not "chick lit".
i'm going with number 2. It's a good story. Sure it's a bit on the hopeless romantic side, but it's a really compelling journey filed with temptations, trials, overcoming adversity and uniting in the face of evil. I hope Stephanie Meyer writes some more of them. Especially about Jacob. I was team Edward all the way, though.

So I watched this movie alone. With a bunch of lonely single women. And some single guys. I really need to take up bow-hunting grizzly bears.


On another note. One year ago today, my world got all shook up. that's all I'll say

I added white meat to the chili...mmmmm

I was going to be off for a couple days. My mom was going to take care of the kids one day and then we'd go out on a date. I thought it'd be easy. Bear in mind that last week, my father-in-law was in car wreck and broke his foot. So he's just sitting there telling us what to do the whole time.

Wednesday:
We went out to my in-law's property which has become a storage facility and loaded a trailer with boxes and stuff to sell in a garage sale. I had to beat two (2) snakes to death with a dowel. There was a flat tire on the trailer this day.

Thursday:
I went to work and the kids were little hellions. Not so bad, but the worst was coming.

Friday:
Garage sale. My wife wakes me up telling me it's 6:00 and we needed to set all the a stuff out. Yeah...it was 5:00. we never set the alarm clock back. We sell stuff. I lost the bank card. I almost lost the keys. Then they sent me out to the land to get more, HEAVY, stuff. I picked up (2) refrigerators, a king-size mattress, an electric recliner and a bunch of boxes. Then on the way home, I blew another tire on the trailer. It took 4.5 hours to scrape the tire off the wheel to replace it. Then I didn't have a bank card. I got home around 10:30.

Saturday:
While unloading the trailer, I dropped the mattress on our nice, old fashioned mailbox and smashed it beyond repair. Then, while carrying the box springs, the wind caught it and twisted my back just right. or just wrong. SO I go inside and lay on the floor. Then get up and decide to make chili. I cut up some onions. I start chopping some garlic and I SLICED OFF THE TIP OF MY FINGER!!!! I didn't nick it. I didn't make a little gash. There is about 1/6th of the tip of my finger missing with the nail. They had to burn the wound closed because they could not stitch it up. I'll post a picture later. It hurts like...like things I cannot say here. a lot. this is the first finger on my left hand. I play guitar for a living and that's an important finger.


I know this is a lot of little stuff. And I'm not depressed about it at all. I did feel the need to express the frustration level I was at when I decided to add some white meat to the chili. It was a rough day yesterday. But man, I love me some Jesus. He's still really awesome.

AND

I get to go see coldplay on wednesday. That might help. Wait...is Coldplay still cool? I don't know anymore.

Bitter Beer Face and wool sweaters

I haven't had a beer since I had this thick, bread type beer with some Austrian friends in college. So it's a clever title.

I've become a cynical, bitter person. There's a lot of things that have led me here. Illnesses, car wrecks, job losses, not fulfilling potential. I think about certain people who I feel are somewhat responsible and my stomach falls. I don't like feeling this way. What do I do about it? Do I forget what happened and those who had a hand in it? Where does their responsibility drop and mine take over? I don't like feeling this way. Maybe some therapy. Dr. Pepper does wonders. Why can't I drop it and move on? I want to.

My old roomate used to give me great advice. He says...uh...get over it.

BUt it's like that wool sweater that you think you look good in. No one else likes it and it itches like crazy, but you think you look good in it. That's bitterness. I don't like wool sweaters. I just need to get rid of it. I'm working on it. Maybe a trip will help.

I'll come up with a title after I write it

Yes, Jacob, you can come.

So I realized something today. I'm old.
I used to ride in the car and listen to loud music. Tonight, I rode home while singing "Father Abraham" and "Wheels on the Bus" with my kids. I was smiling the whole time. You should have kids. If for some stupid reason, you're putting it off, you're missing out. There's not much that beats coming home and having your daughter say "I missed you" or your son say "ahh bllblbbl?" (he can't talk yet) The only thing that might beat that is when they voluntarily give you hugs and kisses and go to bed without screaming. That's pretty awesome.

I'm excited about ministry.
I've been planning and praying and talking to people about it. If I stick to the plan and commit it to JC, it'll be swell.

How awesome is it that God would make himself know to us. He does this not only through His word and His Spirit, but through the little things like kids hugs and Sprinkles cupcakes, and time alone with your wife painting your grandmother's house. BUt only those things. Go love Jesus. He's the best.

Connections

So I was browsing my facebook friends and realized that I sit just outside of a very cool circle. This is one of my dearest friends. He's a producer and has been around the block in a musical sense. He's got one foot inside the cricle or "circle". I just get to hold his hand.
Growing up in the christian subculture, I often looked up to the worship leaders I saw come through town. That and DC Talk...I have an unhealthy obsession with DCTalk. There are some worship leaders that are very well known and I have been privileged to be mentored by some of the same people that were instrumental in their rise to success. UNfortunately, I met these people just after they left this cricle or "circle". They've gone from itinerant worship leaders and speakers to worship pastors and pastors. They're awesome people and I am so glad to know them. They only benefit there is to my position in this...or outside this cricle or "circle" is that when someone goes..."You know shane and shane?" i can say "Yeah, I met those guys and went to school with one of their bass players" Or..."You know the Robby Seay Band?" i can say, "yeah, I met their guitar player...nice guy"
It IS awesome that I've had lunch with Kendall Combes. He's just a genius.

So here I sit, just outside the cricle or "circle". Maybe I'll get one foot in there sometime.

I'm going to go vote for Ralph Nader now.