Fatness and a brief recap

I always thought of my dad as a big fella (sorry dad). He's got a gut and often lifts his shirt to display it proudly to the general horror of any female in the vicinity. I'm looking down as I type this at the buttons straining on my shirt. The sad thing is, my shirt is XL. I had to stop wearing a certain belt buckle, or belt buckles in particular, because they dug into my ponch while I sat down. One of the roots of my problem is the following:
I want to kiss whoever invented Dr. Pepper on the mouth. Or ranch dressing or gravy for that matter. maybe alfredo sauce, too, but that could be a little excessive, I don't know. It's the 23 flavors. And then the creamy, lard type substances. Mayonnaise used to be lumped in there, but I"m over that now
So, to recap...Harry Potter, Twilight, and Dr. Pepper. Throw in some bon-bons and I'll have to start watching the Bold and the Beautiful and whining about what's going to happen to Ridge...not that I know anything about Ridge or Brooke.... I swear I don't know what you're talking about. Apparently, I'm a large woman. I think I need to take up hunting...BOW-hunting...grizzly bears. Yeah...that's the ticket. Lose weight and regain the masculinity I dropped just before typing this blog. I must have serious issues.