The BEst Thing

I just want to follow Jesus.

Deep down, I really just want to Know Him well...to know Him deeply.
When i was 18, I went to a night of worship Dennis Jernigan was leading. He's a great songwriter and worship leader. He was a worshp leader before it was cool to be so. You've probably sung his songs in church. He does this thing where he answers questions and talks to people as long as anyone wants. I was a young worship leader, thinking I knew the best way to do things and eagerly seeking approval from...well anywhere. I walk up to him and a mutual friend introduced us. I stood there with my notepad, stars in my eyes, and told him I was a young worship leader and if he had any advice for me. He looks at me and says, "Seek Jesus." That's it? That was the golden advice I was waiting for? I thought for sure there was some obscure verse I didn't know...or some "special" prayer or something. Apparently this showed in my face because he went on to say, "Just seek Jesus and not a ministry."

I never forgot that little exchange. It's taken me 10 years to even begin to comprehend the wisdom behind those simple words, "Seek Jesus". I've watched people rise up and become great worship leaders...respected, influential worship leaders in the Christian community. I've questioned God as to why i wasn't there...why I wasn't... essentially a "famous" worship leader. What an idiot am I?

I believe I was created by God very purposefully. He gave me certain talents and gifts, certain thorns and short-comings. HE knows me so well, that He's spent these 10 years since that conversation stripping away the earthly reasons for success and replacing them with a genuine desire to KNOW HIM WELL. Not that I'm very good at that.

I feel like I've failed more than I've succeeded in my short 28 years. In all those ways I've tried to do what I want and follow God at the same time. It rarely worked, if ever. IN the end, it really comes down to knowing Jesus. I think i'll keep giving that a shot.