That guy?

There's this person I often imagine becoming. This person is a spiritual giant who knows scripture and backstories of scripture. This guy has more degrees than children and never mentions the degrees. This guy struggles with desiring his wife TOO much. He also has the annoying habit of paying all his bills on time. And it's just necessities, no credit cards or student loans to be found. Just insurance and maybe a house payment...and private school payments.
This guy gets up extra early to read his bible before working out. He does half an hour of cardio before hitting the weights. He's built.
WHen this guy plays guitar, it hangs really low beyond his slender stomach. There's no fast food belly here, no sir. He also can hit high A's like it's nothing. Bb's are extra special.
This guy doesn't hurt his wife's feelings or accidentally drop his kid. (it's only happened once)

This is the guy Jesus loves.

I've been pondering this idea that Jesus loves me just as i am. Pudgy, smelly feet, ego-centric as I am. Jesus loves me right now. There's not some future Jon he will accept later when I get it all down. I'll never get it all down.

In Romans, Paul reminds us of our inability to keep the law. Our inability to get it down. It's in our deepest depravity that Christ reaches in and the whole grace thing kicks in.

There's this huge gap between the man I am and the man I want to be. I'm supposed to say that Christ fills this gap or whatever. But I'm still not the man I want to be. There's still something wrong. The fall? The screwed up way the world works? What the snot is wrong?

I know Jesus loves me. Right now. There's nothing I can do to change that. I know also that He does not love the sin that so often reigns in me. So there.