The Best Thing (and more)

Because of Your Love

2009-09-01T06:27:00.002-05:00

Often when we read through the scriptures, the voice in our...well, My head takes on the form of a boring old pastor who's zeal for life equals my zeal for athletic activity. I read and it's just words on a page. BUt I found that if I engage...if I think about what my Savior has done for me and what He is doing in me right now, then my heart starts to overflow with gratitude and affection for Him. Then Romans, which i've read a gazilion times with no real thought about it, it becomes this earnest letter from a man who's affections for Christ are overflowing onto a page, you know? The angst behind Pauls words becomes more and more apparent. Paul knows the greatest thing is CHrist and knows that you need to know it, too. Jeremiah calls it "fire, shut up in my bones" It's got to come out. LEt your affections for Christ come out today, Jon. Live a life worthy of the grace you have been given. Because of Christ's love for You, jon, be the best.

In Defense of "Depth"

2009-04-22T16:52:00.001-05:00

This is from my new blog. I'm slowly making the shift to all things google. This blog will shut down at some point. til then, let me know what you think.

I've been struck by a couple of things written on some other blogs and, in one instance, a job posting for a church. The job posting for a church said something to the effect of "...you must love evangelism, so big John Piper fans need not apply"- as if John Piper is anti-evangelism.
I know this one guy, and you know who you are, who routinely says things like, "I'm not spiritually 'deep' " or "I don't know theological stuff, but..." That's the idea and I'm sure this person will rip me for misquoting. But that's not the point. The point is that people who have great spiritual depth in their relationship with Christ should be admired and copied. The deeper someone goes in their personal relationship with Christ will take them to areas of effectiveness, wholeness, and satisfaction they never dreamed. Paul was a proponant of spiritual depth.

Ephesians 3:16-19
"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God."

and in Philipians 3:7-12
7 I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. 8 Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ 9 and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ.[c] For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. 10 I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, 11 so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!
Pressing toward the Goal
12 I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me.

Time and time again, we are prompted by God to go deeper. The writer of Hebrews tells the jewish believers that they should be deeper than they are, but are still on Spiritual milk, when meat if for the mature. (Hebrews 5:11-14)
A life that follows Christ, but does not grow is not effective.

With that said, there is a danger for those who go deeper to avoid putting their faith into practice. I must admit that I've fallen into that trap many times. But I believe that as we become more and more like Christ...going 'deeper' in our relationship with Him..we will find that it is impossible to ignore the scriptures and we MUST put them into practice. We MUST love one another, feed the poor, clothe the naked. We must Love God with ALL our heart, soul, MIND and strength and love our neighbors as ourselves. Depth brings this. John Piper's deep. He's effective, too.
It is a lie from the enemy that tells us we're too "busy" to go deeper or that it's not important. Depth brings effectiveness. Depth brings that "it factor" that so many pastors are looking for. Wrap your life around God...go DEEP. The world around you will NEVER be the same. Too many capital letters? Response?

NEW songs, recording, life

2009-04-18T00:17:00.003-05:00

One of the biggest parts of launching this new ministry is recording something that represents who Christ is and who He is making me. We're in the process of doing that. Check out these videos below and you can hear some of the process. God has been so faithfu, providing each part as needed. Whether that's money, time, or sanctification, He's right there doing exactly what He does. There are still many costs involved in getting this little project completed. If you feel God wants to use you to help finish this, please shoot me an email or comment on this post. Also...let me know what you think of the songs.

jon

New EP Pre-Production

Yes We Can!

2009-03-23T13:18:00.003-05:00

Remember that chant at Obama's acceptance speech? Catchy, right. It's the American way of life, you know? It's the idea that you can pull yourself up and "be somebody". There's one major problem with this way of thinking. We can't. Ever.
This is the profound difference between a relationship with Christ and religion. Every other religion on the planet tells you to accomplish this or that...follow these five pillars, or seven steps, or drink this punch when this comet comes and we'll all get whatever version of bliss they come up with.
Have you ever read through Leviticus or even the ten commandments in Exodus? How are those going for you? You got those down? I don't. Not even close. Except the thing about "knowing" your father's sister or things like that. That's just gross. After writing in Romans that we become conscious of sin through the law, Paul writes this.
Romans 3:21-24
21But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. 22This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, 23for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.

No one can attain perfection. It isn't something that we can work up to. If we could, Christ died for nothing (Galatians 2:21)

so No...you can't.

But Christ can...Christ did. In Colossians 1:27, Paul tells us the great mystery of life. Christ in you....Christ in me...the hope of Glory, the hope of being right...the hope of not failing.

Christ offers us perfection. All we have to do is take it...walk in it. Everything that's screwed up with you and me died with Christ on the cross. All things will be presented in perfection when He comes again. Til then, we have access to the power of Christ. Romans 8:28. The same power that raised Christ from the dead live in you and me now. We have access...how will you respond?

New things: John 6:55

2009-03-13T08:16:00.003-05:00

I love being a Dad. It's awesome. It's almost the best thing and I can totally see why some parents set their kids up as gods in their lives...super cute, pooping, crying, no motor skills gods. I love it. My son's obsessed with cars and shoes. We've got a fashionable man in the making. I hope he doesn't discover hair product too soon. Anywho, my daughter has long, chestnut hair and bright blue eyes. She's 3 and is communicating really well now. She'll come up and hug you and say "I love you, too" even if you didn't say it first. It's adorable. My son comes up and hits you, then laughs manically. It's great. That's not the point of this post, though.

With the help of some great friends, I have started a ministy. In Response Ministries exists to teach, lead, and equip people to find genuine satisfaction in a relationship with Jesus Christ through worship and service. That sounds so official, right? We're incorporated and in the process of obtaining non-profit status and recording a new EP called "Center of it All". So, if you have a lot of money burning a hole in your pocket and want to help us out...:) The idea behind the ministry is that Christ offers real, total, lasting satisfaction in a relationship with Him. Our job is to lead people to that and to teach and equip them to remain in that satisfaction. Our verse is John 6:55 Read the context around it to get the picture. I'll post a sermon later. The short version is that Christ offers the real version to the things that only offer temporary satisfaction. Specifically that means leading people in worship and teaching/equiping the church's leaders to lead them to live lives of satisfaction in Jesus.
So we're working on a new EP. Here's a video from pre-production. check jonwebbministries.com often for updates and I"ll post more videos as we get it done. But I"m serious about the money though. or if you want to have us come to your church, that'd be great. But most of the people that read this go to my church and I"m already there so...
New EP Pre-Production

Politics

2009-02-22T23:00:00.002-06:00

Ok...so I've got a lot of stuff rolling around in my head. Sean Penn's oscar win and subsequent speech kind of triggered it. So...
There's this move in the american evangelical church towards social justice. This is a GREAT thing. For WAY too long, this group of the church has pushed social issues back in favor of a shallow evangelism. By that I mean a focus on conversion and not Disciples...or the number of baptisms versus the number of mature followers of Christ if that makes sense. So this is great. The Love God puts in us for all people is showing. Sunday mornings are becoming a safe place for really screwed up people again. There is genuine love for the poor, the orphans, the widows, the prostitutes and homosexuals. It's a good thing. The Church is listening to culture to respond.
On the flip side, there is a generation before that has railed against culture and ignored the signs of the downward spiral. This spawned the current attitude both in the church and out. So when someone like Sean Penn starts talking about issues about which he is so obviously passionate, there is this group that turns it off and ignores it. Then they wonder why people don't want to come to church. It becomes a perpetual cycle of "us against them". So...an older generation of Christians perpetuated a legacy of hate or apathy maybe.
However, in youth's backlash against this older way of doing things, some important issues have gone overlooked. There is a large group of Christians...genuine followers of Christ that voted for Barack Obama. This is mostly due to his stance on certain social issues. Hope and change, you know? Social Justice has become ultimate. I think that some of these folks forget that Social Justice has been entrusted to the church. So...my ADD is kicking in and most people don't read this so there. I'm done.

Best Christmas Song Ever

2008-12-24T15:00:00.006-06:00

I love playing songs for pre-schoolers. Here's how this classic went this week.

Rudolph the rednosed reindeer (DER!)
Had a very shiny nose ( lye-bull)
and if you ever saw it (saw ih)
You would even say it glows (lye-BUL)

All of the other reindeer (DEER)
Used to laugh and call him names (spiderman)
They never let poor rudolph (spiderman)
join in any reindeer games (spiderman)

Then one foggy Christmas eve
santa came to say (spiderman)

I think you get the point, right?
Mitchell, the little boy who came up with this, said spiderman each time like he was trying to subliminally tell me what he wanted for Christmas. It was Hilarious. I had to start over a number of times, I was laughing so hard.

really...I mean...really?

2008-12-12T22:05:00.003-06:00

Since september I've been hanging out with the students at Casa View Baptist Church on wednesdays. I play some songs I do for my day job and we all have a good time. This last wednesday we had a christmas party type thing. On the lap-top hooked up to the projector was this game. Now from the picture, you might think this is guitar hero. Maybe rock band. You would be wrong on both accounts. It's a game called Guitar Praise. Instead of the latest...say...nickelback (not quite as good as a quarterback) tune, or a classic Heart or Aerosmith song, you are treated to the positive sounds of the latest song from such notable artists as Todd Agnew or BArlow Girl. I'll just leave it at that and Dehart and I will poke fun later. * BTW, I did play it a number of times and did pretty good at the expert level...at least the kids who set it up told me it was the expert level.

Year in review

2008-11-30T14:06:00.002-06:00

A year ago, my family was, and I struggle with the word to use here, ousted from a increasingly difficult situation. Until something equally as powerful happens around this time of year, I'm always going to associate Thanksgiving with being fired from a job I was very passionate about.
I wish I could write about how much stronger we are because of it...that we're better people now than a year ago. That event really messed us up. It messed with our confidence, our ability to trust Christ and people, and how we think about our purpose in life. Don't get me wrong. I love Jesus. I love who He is and who HE is making me. It's just hard to notice the garden when there's so much manure trying to help it grow. Yeah....that makes sense to me.

Why I'm thankful-

I grew up in a ministry home. I had ministry aunts and uncles. I had ministry grandparents. So when all this went down, every single person in my family knew exactly what we were going through. They didn't blame me (with one exception). They didn't automatically assume that my actions had led to this life-shattering event. Because we're all in ministry, that thanksgiving I was able to share the story at the table. Between this time last year and Christmas, I heard stories. My dad was wrongfully fired after discovering the pastor was stealing money from the church. My grandfather was told to find another job while on staff at a church in Florida. My uncle, my uncle, my dad, my dad's friend, my grandfather...they all had the church really mess them up.

Why I'll still do ministry-

Jesus told Peter that He was going to build His church on the rock of who He is and promises that the gates of hell won't triumph against it. Despite the regret, hurt, and shame I feel from time to time over what happened up there, I still know that life found in a relationship with Christ is the absolute best thing. I use the pronoun "thing" because it encompasses so much. Replace Christ with any 'thing' and it will leave you disappointed, disillusioned, and unsatisfied...or dissatisfied. (3 dises)
Because of this faith I have in Christ, I will fulfill the purpose He has for me. No matter what people in the church do, the church will continue to be God's hands and feet in this world.

I hate what happened to us a year ago. I hate how it went down. I wish I could stop thinking about it...shut it all off. Until then, I will love Jesus and lead people to that love He has for them. Yeah...that's a good thing.

I'll end this with a joke.
Knock knock,
Who's there?
Nobody
Nobody who?

that's all.

by the way...the new Killers album? awesome.

Another reason I need to take up hunting

2008-11-21T20:08:00.005-06:00

Today, I had 3 hours to kill, not enough time to go home, and 10 dollars burning a hole in my pocket. So I did what most men did today...I went and saw tweener smash, "twilight"....alone. I know, I know...a little creepy. As a father to a daughter, I am fully aware of how creepy it is for a man to go to a movie alone in the middle of the day. Especially a movie that centers (basically) around a high school romance. Creepy, I know. How did I get here?

After reading the Harry Potter series 3 times over, the Narnia books a few times, and getting half-way through a stephen King novel, I tackled the mind of a 17 year old girl. That's where the Twilight books begin. In the mind of Bella Swan. Strangely enough, this is not the first time I've read a "girls" book...or "chick lit" (I love quotation marks)
When I was in 4th grade, I read a book called "Glass Slippers Give you blisters". In it, a girl feels like an outcast, but finds the good in every situation. I didn't realize this was chick lit until I stood up to give my book report in class. When I read the title, John Aldrege said "That's a girl's book". I was embarrassed, I must admit. But I digress.

I was looking forward to the "Half Blood Prince" that was supposed to come out today. I was not as excited for this movie, but given that I'd read the books, I was still pretty sure I would have to see it on opening day. I would have liked to not seem creepy in the process, though. But whatever.

It was a good movie. They stayed really true to the story as much as they could. I would have liked to have seen more of Edward's backstory. But Robert Pattinson did a good job. The whole cast played it a little cheesy. BUt overall, it was a good representation of Stephanie Meyer's work. I really hope the finish out the series. I want to see more of Jacob and the wolf thing. I hope they get a different director for it, though. Someone more suited to the genre.
A cameo by Wesley Snipes as a vampire hunter would be sweet, too. But I don't think that will happen.

The strangest thing about the experience was the amount of single ticket holding men there. IN a half-full theater, there were probably 4 guys there by themselves. And a lot of older women. I have two theories about the guys. 1) They're creepy guys scoping out the lonely ladies or 2) Twilight is not "chick lit".
i'm going with number 2. It's a good story. Sure it's a bit on the hopeless romantic side, but it's a really compelling journey filed with temptations, trials, overcoming adversity and uniting in the face of evil. I hope Stephanie Meyer writes some more of them. Especially about Jacob. I was team Edward all the way, though.

So I watched this movie alone. With a bunch of lonely single women. And some single guys. I really need to take up bow-hunting grizzly bears.

On another note. One year ago today, my world got all shook up. that's all I'll say

I added white meat to the chili...mmmmm

2008-11-16T08:56:00.004-06:00

I was going to be off for a couple days. My mom was going to take care of the kids one day and then we'd go out on a date. I thought it'd be easy. Bear in mind that last week, my father-in-law was in car wreck and broke his foot. So he's just sitting there telling us what to do the whole time.

Wednesday:
We went out to my in-law's property which has become a storage facility and loaded a trailer with boxes and stuff to sell in a garage sale. I had to beat two (2) snakes to death with a dowel. There was a flat tire on the trailer this day.

Thursday:
I went to work and the kids were little hellions. Not so bad, but the worst was coming.

Friday:
Garage sale. My wife wakes me up telling me it's 6:00 and we needed to set all the a stuff out. Yeah...it was 5:00. we never set the alarm clock back. We sell stuff. I lost the bank card. I almost lost the keys. Then they sent me out to the land to get more, HEAVY, stuff. I picked up (2) refrigerators, a king-size mattress, an electric recliner and a bunch of boxes. Then on the way home, I blew another tire on the trailer. It took 4.5 hours to scrape the tire off the wheel to replace it. Then I didn't have a bank card. I got home around 10:30.

Saturday:
While unloading the trailer, I dropped the mattress on our nice, old fashioned mailbox and smashed it beyond repair. Then, while carrying the box springs, the wind caught it and twisted my back just right. or just wrong. SO I go inside and lay on the floor. Then get up and decide to make chili. I cut up some onions. I start chopping some garlic and I SLICED OFF THE TIP OF MY FINGER!!!! I didn't nick it. I didn't make a little gash. There is about 1/6th of the tip of my finger missing with the nail. They had to burn the wound closed because they could not stitch it up. I'll post a picture later. It hurts like...like things I cannot say here. a lot. this is the first finger on my left hand. I play guitar for a living and that's an important finger.

I know this is a lot of little stuff. And I'm not depressed about it at all. I did feel the need to express the frustration level I was at when I decided to add some white meat to the chili. It was a rough day yesterday. But man, I love me some Jesus. He's still really awesome.

AND

I get to go see coldplay on wednesday. That might help. Wait...is Coldplay still cool? I don't know anymore.

Bitter Beer Face and wool sweaters

2008-11-11T22:55:00.003-06:00

I haven't had a beer since I had this thick, bread type beer with some Austrian friends in college. So it's a clever title.

I've become a cynical, bitter person. There's a lot of things that have led me here. Illnesses, car wrecks, job losses, not fulfilling potential. I think about certain people who I feel are somewhat responsible and my stomach falls. I don't like feeling this way. What do I do about it? Do I forget what happened and those who had a hand in it? Where does their responsibility drop and mine take over? I don't like feeling this way. Maybe some therapy. Dr. Pepper does wonders. Why can't I drop it and move on? I want to.

My old roomate used to give me great advice. He says...uh...get over it.

BUt it's like that wool sweater that you think you look good in. No one else likes it and it itches like crazy, but you think you look good in it. That's bitterness. I don't like wool sweaters. I just need to get rid of it. I'm working on it. Maybe a trip will help.

I'll come up with a title after I write it

2008-11-07T22:04:00.002-06:00

Yes, Jacob, you can come.

So I realized something today. I'm old.
I used to ride in the car and listen to loud music. Tonight, I rode home while singing "Father Abraham" and "Wheels on the Bus" with my kids. I was smiling the whole time. You should have kids. If for some stupid reason, you're putting it off, you're missing out. There's not much that beats coming home and having your daughter say "I missed you" or your son say "ahh bllblbbl?" (he can't talk yet) The only thing that might beat that is when they voluntarily give you hugs and kisses and go to bed without screaming. That's pretty awesome.

I'm excited about ministry.
I've been planning and praying and talking to people about it. If I stick to the plan and commit it to JC, it'll be swell.

How awesome is it that God would make himself know to us. He does this not only through His word and His Spirit, but through the little things like kids hugs and Sprinkles cupcakes, and time alone with your wife painting your grandmother's house. BUt only those things. Go love Jesus. He's the best.

Connections

2008-11-04T11:49:00.003-06:00

So I was browsing my facebook friends and realized that I sit just outside of a very cool circle. This is one of my dearest friends. He's a producer and has been around the block in a musical sense. He's got one foot inside the cricle or "circle". I just get to hold his hand.
Growing up in the christian subculture, I often looked up to the worship leaders I saw come through town. That and DC Talk...I have an unhealthy obsession with DCTalk. There are some worship leaders that are very well known and I have been privileged to be mentored by some of the same people that were instrumental in their rise to success. UNfortunately, I met these people just after they left this cricle or "circle". They've gone from itinerant worship leaders and speakers to worship pastors and pastors. They're awesome people and I am so glad to know them. They only benefit there is to my position in this...or outside this cricle or "circle" is that when someone goes..."You know shane and shane?" i can say "Yeah, I met those guys and went to school with one of their bass players" Or..."You know the Robby Seay Band?" i can say, "yeah, I met their guitar player...nice guy"
It IS awesome that I've had lunch with Kendall Combes. He's just a genius.

So here I sit, just outside the cricle or "circle". Maybe I'll get one foot in there sometime.

I'm going to go vote for Ralph Nader now.

Return of a classic

2008-10-16T19:53:00.002-05:00

When I first displayed this to friends and fellow musicians, it was met with various responses. Some call it the Abraham Lincoln. Some call it the Amish grandmother (think Kingpin). I call it the chinstrap. I loved my grizzly adams. I will probably return to it in the very near future. But for now, I'm rocking the chinstrap.

I regret my decision.

I really thought

2008-10-16T15:51:00.004-05:00

So I really thought that Obama comment would get something in the way of comments. So on that note...I think everyone should cook and eat a puppy. Use a little crisco and some buttermilk and fry that sucker up. Try some cayenne to give it that little extra puppy goodness.

Ok, that might be a little much.

I don't really have anything else to blog about...maybe later.

TV...an obsession

2008-10-13T20:55:00.003-05:00

We've gotten U-verse by AT&T. People...this is how television was meant to be watched. IT helps if it's on a 46" LCD HDTV. While watching one show (in HD) I can browse other channels. Not just the title, as is such in...ahem...lesser cable providers. But a little window pops up and shows you the show at that moment and tells you how many minutes are left in the show.
Then there's the DVR. Holy Cow! With the fastforwarding and the pausing. The best part of this is that once we record a show, we can watch it in ANY room in the house. It's amazing.
Hang on...let me pause heroes (in HD) to think.

While all these features are really cool, this adds to an almost cocaine-like addiction to TV. I get into shows like no one else I know. I laugh out loud as if I was a singular laugh-track, holy crap peter just broke sylar's neck.
See what I mean? An obsession.

And I think I might vote for Obama. You know...first black president and all.

New Job

2008-10-10T12:29:00.002-05:00

So I have a new job that could turn into, albeit reluctantly, a fruitful career. 4 days a week I go into preschools and sing songs for kids ranging in age from 18mths to 5 years old. This job is awesome. AWESOME! Let me give you a lyrical sampling of what I throw down.

What do you do if your clothes catch fire?
STOP, DROP, and ROLL!

Then there are variations...pants, shirt, jacket, etc.
Another song we sang yesterday has these gems.

Pumpkin, Pumpkin, round and fat
Turn into a jack-o-lantern just like that.

That's actually the whole song. No verse, chorus, verse, chorus, bridge, chorus, chorus. Just chorus...or verse...I'm not sure which one that is given that the song has no other parts with which to relate.

The best part about this job that I have is the things the kids say. They're just learning to count and days and months and such. Here are a few quotes.

me: Who can tell me what month this is?
darling girl: September
me: that was last month, what comes after September?
young whipper snapper: TUESDAY!
~~~

me: who can tell me what happens at the end of October?
boy: Thursday!

~~~~
Generally these kids answer in days of the week. They get the month every now and then, but generally, they're 4...so...yeah, no physicists or neurosurgeons here.

This is a great job. It goes by quick and the money is decent. Beats the crap out of working at a call center. I know I won't be here forever, but it's going to be a blast while I'm here.

You want to know

2008-09-15T21:58:00.004-05:00

I know you're just dying to know what I think about something. What is it?

Poor old Luke

2008-09-11T20:32:00.002-05:00

I was thinking about overcoming adversity yesterday. People who've had just really crappy family situations and yet have come through, nay SUCCEEDED! No one personifies this more...than Luke Skywalker. Let's recap his life.
-Born a twin to a mother who singlehandedly caused the rise of the empire.
-Father was a burn victim who abused his mother and tried to kill him on numerous occasions
-Father sliced off his hand and killed his mentor
-Father created massive doomsday device and obliterated planets

yet Luke, against all odds, rises in wisdom and power to overthrow the evil sith lord and provide a path of redemption for his Father. What a trooper.
I had a lot of time to think about that yesterday.

Fatness and a brief recap

2008-09-07T11:54:00.004-05:00

I always thought of my dad as a big fella (sorry dad). He's got a gut and often lifts his shirt to display it proudly to the general horror of any female in the vicinity. I'm looking down as I type this at the buttons straining on my shirt. The sad thing is, my shirt is XL. I had to stop wearing a certain belt buckle, or belt buckles in particular, because they dug into my ponch while I sat down. One of the roots of my problem is the following:
I want to kiss whoever invented Dr. Pepper on the mouth. Or ranch dressing or gravy for that matter. maybe alfredo sauce, too, but that could be a little excessive, I don't know. It's the 23 flavors. And then the creamy, lard type substances. Mayonnaise used to be lumped in there, but I"m over that now
So, to recap...Harry Potter, Twilight, and Dr. Pepper. Throw in some bon-bons and I'll have to start watching the Bold and the Beautiful and whining about what's going to happen to Ridge...not that I know anything about Ridge or Brooke.... I swear I don't know what you're talking about. Apparently, I'm a large woman. I think I need to take up hunting...BOW-hunting...grizzly bears. Yeah...that's the ticket. Lose weight and regain the masculinity I dropped just before typing this blog. I must have serious issues.

The BEst Thing

2008-09-04T23:22:00.003-05:00

I just want to follow Jesus.

Deep down, I really just want to Know Him well...to know Him deeply.
When i was 18, I went to a night of worship Dennis Jernigan was leading. He's a great songwriter and worship leader. He was a worshp leader before it was cool to be so. You've probably sung his songs in church. He does this thing where he answers questions and talks to people as long as anyone wants. I was a young worship leader, thinking I knew the best way to do things and eagerly seeking approval from...well anywhere. I walk up to him and a mutual friend introduced us. I stood there with my notepad, stars in my eyes, and told him I was a young worship leader and if he had any advice for me. He looks at me and says, "Seek Jesus." That's it? That was the golden advice I was waiting for? I thought for sure there was some obscure verse I didn't know...or some "special" prayer or something. Apparently this showed in my face because he went on to say, "Just seek Jesus and not a ministry."

I never forgot that little exchange. It's taken me 10 years to even begin to comprehend the wisdom behind those simple words, "Seek Jesus". I've watched people rise up and become great worship leaders...respected, influential worship leaders in the Christian community. I've questioned God as to why i wasn't there...why I wasn't... essentially a "famous" worship leader. What an idiot am I?

I believe I was created by God very purposefully. He gave me certain talents and gifts, certain thorns and short-comings. HE knows me so well, that He's spent these 10 years since that conversation stripping away the earthly reasons for success and replacing them with a genuine desire to KNOW HIM WELL. Not that I'm very good at that.

I feel like I've failed more than I've succeeded in my short 28 years. In all those ways I've tried to do what I want and follow God at the same time. It rarely worked, if ever. IN the end, it really comes down to knowing Jesus. I think i'll keep giving that a shot.

Everyday Conversation

2008-09-03T14:17:00.002-05:00

In one week, I read the twilight Saga. It's been weird spending a week inside the head of a fictional teenage girl. Toward the end, I started interjecting metaphors from the book into everyday conversation to the delight of all around me. For example...

"I just need to let that go...like Bella let go of her new found thirst for blood for the good of her half-vampire child"
or
"I'm so confused...like Jacob was after he found out his best friend wanted to become a vampire, his mortal enemy"
or
"That smells good...like the scent of Edward to his lover, Isabella"

The last few weeks, I have made a conscious effort to remember who i was before I let the cancer of other people's opinions affect me so greatly. I'm slowly remembering who i was before religion enslaved my thinking. I'm re-learning the freedom that's found in a relationship with Christ. I'm finding out who i really was made to be...like Jacob did when he found out he was a werewolf...or Bella, when she first used her abilities as a shield to protect her family and all those who stood beside her.

I can't stop...
like James when he started hunting Edward's lover, Isabella.
CRAP!

Addiction

2008-08-25T20:44:00.002-05:00

I have a horrible addiction. One that could potentially ruin my career in ministry. I tell the addiction here in hopes that someone can help. It started over a year ago. It started with a movie and now it has become my escape. I must confess...I am addicted to Harry Potter. It's true.
I first realized I might have a problem when I read the fan fiction online after my second reading through all the books. Today, I rewatched just the special features for the "goblet of Fire". When I had a few free hours the other night, I spent it all on mugglenet.com. I think I have a problem. It might not really be a problem until I actually write a fan fiction novel. If you don't know what fan fiction is, you probably can't help.
I HAVE, however, come to the understanding that I can love Jesus and read/watch harry potter. I even used it as a sermon illustration a few weeks ago. SO there.

Michael Scott self awareness

2008-08-22T07:58:00.002-05:00

I heard an interview with steve carell on NPR the other day. I love NPR. Mostly on the weekends, but that's not the point. He was talking about his cringe inducing character on the Office, Michael Scott. The interviewer prompted him to respond with the typical "there's a little michael scott in us all" type of answer. Instead, he says something like this.
"Look at your group of friends and think who the Michael Scott is. If you can't think of one, look in the mirror"
So I did that. I think i'm way too much like Michael Scott. Woefully self-unaware. Saying things I don't mean in the absolute wrong moment. I've also been compared by others to Strongsad, and Eeyore. All of this is slightly disturbing. Would I actually do the things that Michael Scott does? With obviously less humorous results?
A good friend of mine used to give me these disappointed looks at almost every attempted joke. Coincidentally, another friend in college would actually make sure I and everyone else knew that what I just said wasn't funny. This has led to a couple of unintentional consequences. I keep my mouth shut and don't make jokes. This makes me seem reclusive and in a state of constant depression. Which is not the case. WHile my sense of humor is an acquired taste...that's the end of that sentence. For example.
Great Scott!
I'm going back to bed.

Beard

2008-08-20T22:47:00.002-05:00

I grew a beard. I full on, grizzly adams beard. If you follow the link in the post previous, you will see a brief glimpse of said beard. While I've yet to attain...say...Sean Michel status, I'm quite proud of my questionable sense of style. I think I have my finger on the pulse of what's "hot" in fashion. You may disagree, but I definitely called the resurgence of the waist-coat or "vest". I think I've acurately called the new onslaught of airbrushed beach scene t-shirts. (having bought each member of my family one complete with dolphins) Here's my next step in the fashion war. Untied bowties. Casually slung around the neck as if to say "who...me?" (i don't know what that means)
My recent adventures mentioned below have shown me that the vest and tie and any combination of the two have reached the mainstream. Almost for that reason alone I"m tempted to abandon it and move forward with my airbrushed untied bow-tie concoction. Everybody's got a goatee, a vest, and a tie. Not me...I've got a beard, an airbrushed tee and a untied bow-tie. I'm on the cusp of cool and it's exhilarating. (again...I don't know what that means)
Jesus is the best thing ever.

The biggest day of the year

2008-08-19T20:59:00.003-05:00

What an experience.

A while ago, I made the decision I was going to audition for American Idol. Kind of a "nothing to lose everything to gain" kind of situation. So my wife and I made a bunch of plans and saved some money to go to Kansas City to audition. Crazy experience. From waiting in line for six hours one day to get a wristband, to waiting in line for 4 hours to get in...lot's of waiting. I got up to the producer to sing (not any of the TV folks) and sang, then sang again, then again...he says that there's something there, but it's not quite polished enough and to try again. So I took that quite literally and dropped off the wife and kids and drove 17 hours to Jacksonville Florida for the next audition. I still can't believe I did that. I did the same thing all over again. Got in front of the producer (a different one this time) and she said almost the same thing. "You've got a beautiful voice, but the presentation isn't quite there." Crazy time. I did make it onto a local TV Station with Andrew Cook, the brother of David Cook. So...go me. Check it out here.

There was a girl dressed as a bunny, a guy with a fake accent, a guy with a gold glitter jacket, and the guy in front of me finished his song with a handstand and made it through (it wasn't a good thing). I'm sure there were many crazies in the crowd. Most were in denial like me.

I'm still processing the whole thing...debating whether or not to do it again next year...

It's been a weird summer. I started it as a outside salesman for a commercial heating and air company and ended it trying out for American Idol. I met some AWESOME teenagers at seek week and SSWC in the middle. Lots of questions and a few answers. Jesus is still the best thing ever.

Chapter 1

2008-05-14T14:39:00.001-05:00

Someone asked me "what's your story?" so I thought I'd start with the second most important meeting in my life.

I knew John. That’s why I sat where I did. She sat on the other side of John. I didn’t know her and it didn’t really occur to me to find out too much about her at first. Just trying to stay with my “kind” in a class with a bunch of people I didn’t know. By “kind” I mean choir people. Or theater people. It wasn’t for a while that I realized we shared a couple of common interests. We both tried out for the fall play, “The Diviners”, and made it. She was blond, skinny, and had a slight lisp. Not enough to be distracting or make fun of, but just enough to be really adorable.
One day, John was sick and since we shared common interests, I filled the seat next to her. We made small talk. About the play, school, people we knew and such. I knew her brother she knew a couple of my friends. Turns out we ran in circles that overlapped and we just hadn’t crossed paths yet. It also turned out that she knew Jesus. REALLY well. She was shocked that I knew Jesus, which says a lot about my faith at the time, but that’s a whole other deal. Fact is, we both knew Jesus and that was more important than anything else to us at that moment. She was an angel.
We have to jump back a little bit so you understand why I call her angel. February, 1998, I was dating this great girl. She was a year older and about to graduate and move on in the world. We split up and that summer, I grew to love Jesus a lot. I knew that with the school year upon us, I would be extremely tempted to run after ungodly things. So I prayed. I asked God for someone to hold me up and keep me from falling. Turns out, her name was Sascha.
During that fall after we met, we started to hang out after school, during rehearsal for the play we were in. There was a deep attraction that went beyond physical things. To be completely honest, her looks, though incredible, were not what attracted me to her in the first place. She had this unique relationship with God. She prayed and things happened. She spoke about Jesus like she really knew Him. She cared about the state of other people’s souls…at 17… I don’t care who you are, that’s attractive on a very deep level.

I can't believe it

2008-04-22T15:26:00.002-05:00

So I can't believe I"m here. Using valuable company resources to type this blog. I have recently found employment at bartos industries. I'm eventually going to sell heating and air conditioning parts and units. Seriously in the rat race. I can't believe I'm here...and I mean that in a bad way.
By now I was supposed to be playing music for a living. DOn't get me wrong, I'm glad I have this job and I'm sure it will provide all I need for my family. I just thought I'd be doing something else entirely. I know what God's trying to teach me, though. That my relationship with Him is far more important than what I do for Him, if that makes sense. He's teaching me responsibility. and I hate it. BUt I know I'll be better for it and my wife will respect me more for it and my kids won't go hungry.

but I'm still trying out for American Idol next year. No matter what.

Shadows!

2007-06-19T01:10:00.000-05:00

That's it....they're shadows of the deepest longings of my soul.

Lust- a shadow of the true intimacy I crave with my heavenly Father
TV- a shadow of the JOY i long for in life
xBox- a shadow of the discipline required for a Godward life.

They're all shadows...wax figures. They feel like the real thing, but are empty, hollow, and have no lasting trace of the reall thing they imitate.

I know this now. It's true. I desire intimacy, joy, and discipline in the deepest corners of my soul. Where is this found?

WORSHIPPING CHRIST- it is my heart's truest home. Where I find all that I need IN HIM and He reveals more of who He is to me...that I might know Him deeply, finding Joy in the Godward life He's called me to.

When are you going to write a book, D?

other stuff and stuff

2007-03-15T23:39:00.000-05:00

I love TV...
Love IT!
To the point that I download shows from iTunes and watch whole seasons in a matter of days. This is how I got addicted to "LOST" When a woman is in her last trimester...the need to frequent the loo increases...so rather than let her wake me up every three hours, I forego the first two or three and stay up watching whole episodes of the first season of LOST on iTunes...when the baby was born, at night in the hospital I finished up the first season and the first half of the second. How exciting, right?
I have moved on to "30 Rock" ---------( Live every week like it's shark week ) ( I am jedi! I am a Jedi!)
AND "Scrubs" -----------( Reeeeeehaaaaaaeeeely ) ( Either this guy's got a light bulb up his butt or his colon has a great idea)
and "The Office" ---------( That's what she said )

I think the love is not necessarily for TV, but iTunes.

This is found in my affinity for the afore mentioned TV shows as well as podcasts....It's practically keeping my spiritual life going right now.
Matt Chandler from the village church in north dallas. Rocks my world.
John Piper...he's JOhn Piper

I have random thoughts like most people.

A lot of them center around Jesus. My daughter is teaching me a lot about Jesus.
The other day she was really excited about the doggy at the window (how much?) she fell down in the kicthen and hit her head pretty hard. So I laughed at her really hard and pointed out to my wife how stupid she was. Not really....she started hurting a crying so I picked her up and held her close. I kissed her forehead and told her everything was going to be ok.
How many times do I fall and think Jesus is just waiting to point it out and tell me what a bad Christian I am.
But there's a reason God calls Himself Father, now isn't there?

That guy?

2007-02-14T15:43:00.000-06:00

There's this person I often imagine becoming. This person is a spiritual giant who knows scripture and backstories of scripture. This guy has more degrees than children and never mentions the degrees. This guy struggles with desiring his wife TOO much. He also has the annoying habit of paying all his bills on time. And it's just necessities, no credit cards or student loans to be found. Just insurance and maybe a house payment...and private school payments.
This guy gets up extra early to read his bible before working out. He does half an hour of cardio before hitting the weights. He's built.
WHen this guy plays guitar, it hangs really low beyond his slender stomach. There's no fast food belly here, no sir. He also can hit high A's like it's nothing. Bb's are extra special.
This guy doesn't hurt his wife's feelings or accidentally drop his kid. (it's only happened once)

This is the guy Jesus loves.

I've been pondering this idea that Jesus loves me just as i am. Pudgy, smelly feet, ego-centric as I am. Jesus loves me right now. There's not some future Jon he will accept later when I get it all down. I'll never get it all down.

In Romans, Paul reminds us of our inability to keep the law. Our inability to get it down. It's in our deepest depravity that Christ reaches in and the whole grace thing kicks in.

There's this huge gap between the man I am and the man I want to be. I'm supposed to say that Christ fills this gap or whatever. But I'm still not the man I want to be. There's still something wrong. The fall? The screwed up way the world works? What the snot is wrong?

I know Jesus loves me. Right now. There's nothing I can do to change that. I know also that He does not love the sin that so often reigns in me. So there.

posting

2007-02-12T22:33:00.001-06:00

This is the post for the day.

The Way

2007-02-12T00:09:00.000-06:00

I've been searching old friends on facebook and myspace. Come to find out a guy who played my dad in The Sound of Music when I was 12 or 13 is in a band. The band's called Orson and they're steadily climbing the charts in the UK. They're on tour with Robbie WIlliams and Duran Duran. This is BIG STUFF. I'm thrilled for the guy.
I was in a few shows with him and his sister who was my age...is my age. She's out in Hollywood i think.
I also ran across a friend from high school who was in ALl State Choir with me. SHe's doing some big shows out in LA.

I made a conscious choice in college to pursue Christ rather than music or theater or fame or something. I remeber coming back and talking to my High School theater teachers about it. One of them looked at me and told me I could move to New York and act for a living. That I had that kind of talent or something. There were some great actors in high school. It means a lot that they thought I was the one who could have made "it"...whatever that is.

Where does this leave me? There's still this desire to stand on a stage and strut around singing some rock song. Or to put on costume and make-up and play some character in an Arthur Miller play.(Love that realism)

What have I given up and what will I gain from it?
Had Christ not invaded...or at least invaded so deep, I am confident that I could have done any number of things related to music or theater. The rock band or the actor. Something...
Have I really given up fame or riches? Is it histerical to even be talking this way? Kind of, yeah.

This Jesus guy. He just messes it all up. He's come along with his way of thinking..."the last shall be first....servant of all...lose your life to gain it" kind of talk. What do you do with that? That kind of thinking isn't practical...it isn't...it won't put food on the table or a Mercedes in the driveway...or buy a driveway...

Then there's this passage that flips that back on end. Matthew 6. After preaching for a while and mentioning running after clothing or food...after mentioning money and storing up treasures he says to Look for God's Kingdom FIRST! Then He will take care of the things I need. (I don't need a macbook pro, by the way)
He has done this. He is providing as Sascha and I seek him in our feeble, jacked up ways.

I choose Christ. He is better. I'd love to stand on a stage and sing my latest #1 hit. But I choose Jesus. People are stupid...I know...I'm one of them. I'd rather waste myself on the praises of One than on the praises of many. Then I could sleep better. until He woos me deeper, but that's a whole other thing.
j

Gigging

2007-02-10T18:20:00.000-06:00

The things I do for friends.

I'm at this stage in my career where I have to take EVERYTHING that comes along. I cannot afford to turn anything down at this point. The more gigs, the more opportunities to meet people and share my story. I haven't gotten it down to a science like my friend Joel engle. Seriously. I played a gig with him at Celebrate freedom. We had 30 minutes. We did 8 songs and he shared his testimony. That's amazing. It would take me an hour to play 8 songs. Probably because I'd ramble on and on in between songs.
I"m playing for free tonight at Cowamongus cafe and creamery. I actually used to work here. BUt let's not talk about that.
Opening for me (hah!) is a band called Cover(dish). As their name implies, they play cover songs. I tell you and they would. They are hacks. But they're having a good time playing some U2 and some David Crowder and some mutemath. Not the crazy keytar songs, but the slow easy one. I love these guys, though. They are all awesome people. Except bobby. I don't know bobby. But I'm sure he's equally awesome.

I"m not sure how to get gigs. If anyone comes across this and knows, please inform me.
So far, I've played the Door, Caowamongus, and Rockwell's coffee house. Other than church, that's it.
I think I have a good product and worthwhile story.

~on to Jesus~

Have I ever told you the Dennis Jernigan story? No? Here it is.
Dennis Jernigan is a worship leader based out of Oklahoma. His sister and brother in law used to go to my church in Mesquite. One night, I went with my family to a night of praise he was leading at. He makes it a point after each event to talk to whoever wants to talk to him. He's written some big songs. Thank You, Great is the Lord, All in All. Some great stuff. He also has a great testimony. I really admire this guy.
So there I was, 17 with worship leading dreams. Friggin' stars in my eyes. Sort of...maybe crosses instead...hmm.
So I go up to him afterward to ask him advice on leading worship. I had my notebook and stuff, ready to hear these pearls of wisdom that would fall from his lips, knowing it might be too much to write down. But I was going to try.
So I tell him who I am and such. Tell him I"m a worship leader and ask his advice. He looks straight at me and says "Seek Jesus"
I guess I had this over simplified dumb look on my face. Like I wasn't sure I heard right or that there should be more to it. SO he added. "Seek Jesus, not any ministry"
He was right. Seeking JEsus is primary. Rather than seeking stuff or position. He tells us to seek Him. Matthew 6. 33

And i love jesus.
The person of Christ stands as the focal point of my life....most...well a lot of the time.

So to bring this together. I'll just seek jesus and be a good steward of what He's given me.
j

The darkness

2007-02-09T22:35:00.000-06:00

Though the name of a fairly decent 80s throwback kind of band and what Rick James called Eddie Murphy's brother in the chapelle's show, neither is what I speak of.
It is no suprise that all mankind is screwed up. There is this inane sense within us that it's just not right.
It's this darkness within that tells us we're not good enough.
It's this darkeness within that tells us me all the negative things about myself.
It's this darkness I have to fight.

In my life, it takes two forms, lust and depression.
Lust creeps in whether I am happy or sad. Something of a equalizer. If I'm depressed, it lifts me up. If I'm happy, it reminds me of my depravity.

It's the depression I am fighting now. These are the thoughts that bring it up in me.
I have been forgotten.
I am not talented enough.
I cannot support my family.
God will love me when i'm good enough.

These are also the LIES that perpetuate the cycle. Yet that is what they are. Falsehoods meant to decieve.

God loves me NOW. Messed up and all.
BUt WHo Christ is in me is greater than these things.

The Best Thing

2006-07-29T00:33:00.000-05:00

John 6
1-13 (read it if you want)
Here we have the good ol Jesus feeds the 5000 story. There's so much we can glean from this...Things like:
God will use whatever you have...and...He's more than enough for you...
All good solid Christian truths. Preached time and time again from pulpits all over the world.
But what's this in verse 14-15? These people are so Freaked out and absolutely astounded at what's taken place, they try to press in and make Jesus King. He's just done this amazing miracle...making something GREAT out of something small, meeting the needs of 5000+ people...filling their stomachs...Proving He has more than what they need. So of course they want Him to rid them of their tyrants of the day. What's he do? He sneaks off. Eluding them.
16-21
Then we have the Incredible story, again preached in pulpits everywhere, where the disciples go out in the boat, sans the Messiah, then what to my wandering eyes should appear? Jesus...WALKING on the WATER! I don't know if you've tried this, but it's hard...you can't get more than a couple of steps before going down. Peter gets out of the boat and there's the stories of Faith and "Never take you eyes off Christ" sermons...again all well and good. True as the North Star. Another GREAT miracle of Christ. Long story short...they get to the other side of the lake and...
22-26
There's all the folks who were at the potluck just yesterday. They ask the obvious question, "When did you get here, Jesus?" Jesus...because He's God...Looks straight into their hearts and splits them wide open, saying "You've come looking for me not because you saw God in my actions but because I fed you, filled your stomachs—and for free."(msg) Here's where we get to the message. The point of the Feeding 5K and walking on water and water to wine and blind people seeing and people being raised from the dead. Here's the point. You ready?
Jesus says, "Don't waste your energy striving for perishable food like that. Work for the food that sticks with you, food that nourishes your lasting life, food the Son of Man provides. He and what he does are guaranteed by God the Father to last."

They don't get it

28To that they said, "Well, what do we do then to get in on God's works?"

29Jesus said, "Throw your lot in with the One that God has sent. That kind of a commitment gets you in on God's works."

BUT who would want to commit?

30-31They waffled: "Why don't you give us a clue about who you are, just a hint of what's going on? When we see what's up, we'll commit ourselves. Show us what you can do. Moses fed our ancestors with bread in the desert. It says so in the Scriptures: 'He gave them bread from heaven to eat

It’s here that we come to an escalating point in Scripture. They don’t understand or want to understand what Jesus is saying so they keep making excuses. These people are wanting something they can taste or see. They want Jesus to do another trick. They want Him to fill their bellies right then and there. Jesus goes round and round with them. He even gets to the point of saying “ I AM THE BREAD OF LIFE!” you want flour and water and yeast and such...I want to give you something better. Something that lasts. He finally gets to the point of flat out saying “If you want real life...at MY flesh, Drink MY blood.” They don’t get what He’s saying and leave grumbling...many of them probably disappointed they didn’t get to see Jesus fly or something.

Even the disciples weren’t getting it. They tell Jesus in a kind of “staff-meeting” that , “Uh...Jesus..this is a little hard teaching here. You might want to back off a little. Who can accept this?” He replys to them. Jesus sensed that his disciples were having a hard time with this and said, "Does this throw you completely? What would happen if you saw the Son of Man ascending to where he came from? The Spirit can make life. Sheer muscle and willpower don't make anything happen. Every word I've spoken to you is a Spirit-word, and so it is life-making. But some of you are resisting, refusing to have any part in this.”

So..what’s the message here. Why the full page rant about John 6? Jesus is trying to tell us something. He’s done these miracles and proved that His words have validity. The point here is that Jesus is the ONLY thing that really, truly satisfies. HE IS THE BEST THING! So often we seek out Jesus because he filled our tummies, miraculously pulled our bank account out of the red, or healed a disease. These things are not bad things...they are not unholy things. But they are SYMPTOMS of the real miracle that has taken place. Jesus did some really stinkin’ cool stuff when he was on earth. He made a guy’s hand grow back, He got to rub His spit in someone’s eyes and they could see, He fed a college campus with the contents of a lunch box, he took a stroll on liquid, he RAISED PEOPLE FROM THE DEAD! That’s some cool stuff. But if they become the focus of the investigation here, we’ve missed the point. All of those things PALE in comparison to THE miracle. IN our passage here, Jesus is trying to point people to the Miracle, namely Himself, and most can’t swallow it. They think that the bread, or healing, or manna, or tradtition is the ‘thing’. It says that many of his disciples left, not being able to accept what was taught. So...best case...75 out of 5000+ heard it and got it. We only know of 12-15 by name.
The miracles in scripture are wonderful and full of life and light. But the miracle...THE miracle is this.
God come to earth in Christ, Died to atone for our sin, Rose to conquer death. And here’s the best part...Romans 8:11 tells us that the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead now resides in us. SO...we have access to Christ...the BREAD of life...our soul’s deepest satisfaction...24/7. Not only that, we have the power to act like it...to behave as sons and daughters of God...as satisfied people. Because of THE miracle...because Jesus is THE ‘thing’. The best thing. That’s the Message.
Jesus is the Best thing.